King EllDear Subjects,

I object to apostrophe misuse in my realm, so I use the magic power of Photoshoppery to fix them.

Scroll down to see the latest apostrophe catastrophes that I’ve amended. To add a comment to any post, just click the speech bubble by the date. Please share your favourite/s with your contacts. With your help, maybe everyone will eventually learn how to use apostrophes correctly.

King Ell

P.S. You can also click the links above, to send in your own images of errant apostrophes for correction, and to buy branded King Ell products to show your support for his campaign.

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According to this BBC article, a grammar vigilante has been correcting apostrophes on signs in Bristol for the past 13 years.

Read all about it >

King Ell bows his head in pride.

A book on how to use f***ing apostrophes.

Read all about it on the Guardian website.

Linky-link.

This is one of the most shocking apostrophe fails that the King has had the misfortune to see. Shared on Facebook by an ex-pat Brit, it’s a hoodie being sold on Amazon for £29.99. At least you exactly know what to think of anyone who buys it.

The only good thing about it are the reviews. For example:

  • AS A PROUD NATIONALISTS WHO CAN ONLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS IM SO GLAD THAT FINALLY THERE IS A HOODIE THAT USES THE SAME KINDS OF SPELLING MISTAKES THAT I USE WHEN RANTING AT GROSS LEFTIES AND MUSLAMICS ON FACEBOOK GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
  • Winston Churchill couldn’t spell either (probably). Finally, a product for people who love England but don’t love English.
  • At last my children can fashionably demonstrate their understanding of the UK’s diminishing lack of status on the world stage! Thank god. No more, ‘hate to tell you guys, but my mum says the UK actually ranks only sixth in Wikipedia’s definitive list of world economies according to GDP.’
  • I’m not sure what the fuss is about; I have just had an apostrophe tattooed on my belly and whenever anyone points out the grammar fail I just pull the hoodie taut so that if you strain your eyes you can almost see the hoodie as it was originally intended. Hah. Think again, grammar nazis.
  • APOSTROPHES ARE A MUSLIMIST PLOT! I FOR ONE AM SICK OF APOSTROPHES COMING OVER HERE, TAKING OUR JOBS AND CONFUSING UKIP VOTERS. GET BACK TO ISLAM APOSTROPHES!

BEFORE
There should be an apostrophe in We’re if it’s short for We are. As it stands, it means we are not number one any more, but we once were. Which is true according according to the middle comment above.

Hoodie before

AFTER
King Ell has added an apostrophe and changed it to number 6. He feels a lot better now. Ta-rah, tutty-bye, toddle-pip and all that.
Hoodie after

Spotted at an exhibition this week. Let’s is short for Let us, so it needs an apostrophe in place of the missing ‘u’.

BEFORE
Why do printers not use proofreaders who can spot glaring great errors like a missing apostrophe?
Elephant before
AFTER
King Ell has tweaked it. Let the trumpets roar.
Elephant after

Another submission by our regular Beckenham contributor.

BEFORE
Why oh why are there apostrophes in Teas and Coffees but not in Cakes and Pastries? It make’s no sen’se.

breakfast before

AFTER
Fixed. The King will have a glass of water now, please.
breakfast after

Shame on you, Sainsbury’s, for displaying this sign by each till.

BEFORE

  • There is no such word as ‘upto’
  • There is an apostrophe missing before the s of ‘hours’
  • Despite what supermarkets and banks would have us believe, there is no such word as ‘instore’

Sainsbury before

AFTER
Because every little helps (ha ha):

  • King Ell has added some space between ‘up’ and ‘to’
  • He’s added the missing apostrophe
  • He doesn’t know what to do about ‘instore’ – please add your suggestions in the comments. Thank you

Sainsbury after

This effort was spotted by The Bloke On The Bus – a tall fella who travels round London, photographing things.

BEFORE
There’s no need for an apostrophe to make a plural. Just add an S. To pluralise a word ending in Y, replace it with IES.
Straps before
AFTER
King Ell has done the necessary. He could’ve added an S on repairs, but didn’t have the time. Ha ha.
Straps after

An eagle-eyed apostrophobe spotted this sign on Facebook and passed it to the King for a cut’n’blow dry.

BEFORE
The hair design is done by Nigel so it needs a possessive apostrophe.

Nigels before
AFTER
The King has trimmed and tidied the type to insert the apostrophe where it belongs. No more bad hair days for Nigel. Phew.

Nigels after

Here’s a signwriter that’s been having trouble with their vowels, judging by their inconsistent use of apostrophe-isation.

BEFORE
The apostrophe in Auntie Em’s is correct, as the coffee shop belongs to Auntie M.
The apostrophes in tea’s and coffee’s are incorrect– they should be just plural teas and coffees.
If the signwriter is so confused about apostrophes, why would they not put them in toy’s, cake’s, snack’s and kid’s as well? They’d be wrong, but at least they’d be consistent.

Auntie Em before

AFTER
The King has does his usual Photoshop wizardry to fix the errors, and all is well again in Auntie Em land. Cheers.
Auntie Em after

You must have noticed all the flooding in the news recently. Here’s the BBC News story about road closure at Sonning Bridge noticed by our friend @Snaptophobic on Twitter.

BEFORE
You don’t add an apostrophe in his, hers, yours or theirs, so why add one in its?
Road before
AFTER
Apostrophe repaired. Bridge repair may take a little longer.
Road after